Latest from Sam Tonning on Twitter
@MsKatieEllen Wait that wasn’t the plan???
One-ply toilet paper is the cousin fucking of personal hygiene products. It’s legal, but god damnit it shouldn’t be.
Ah yes the smell of hand sanitizer, my uncle’s favourite drink.
A woman asked me if I ever put my pee pee in a vacuum. I was like “that’s a weird thing to call my cousin”.
@JoeToplyn Cell phone cameras are the razor blades of consumer electronics.
@hulloharris Maybe we should call climate change an alien attack