One time while trying to buy drugs I got into someone else's uber and it took us like 2 minutes to figure out what was happening.

About 5 hours ago from Andrew Barr's Twitter via Twitter for Android

This is my most successful tweet with a typo.

About 2 days ago from Andrew Barr's Twitter via Twitter for Android

If the Amber alert woke you up and you called the police to complain, that also means you were asleep at 11pm on Valetine's day, which probably also means you don't fuck and maybe that is what you were really mad about.

About 3 days ago from Andrew Barr's Twitter via Twitter for Android

I think the Will Smith genie looks fine, though I don't quite understand what motivates a genie to get that jacked. He's doing crazy reps in the lamp? To hopefully get some genie poon?

About 4 days ago from Andrew Barr's Twitter via Twitter for Android

I think the lady who threw the chair on the Gardner is one of the bad Bandersnatch endings and she didn't get to go back.

About 6 days ago from Andrew Barr's Twitter via Twitter for Android

People from the UK will just call any fucking thing "pudding".

About 2 weeks ago from Andrew Barr's Twitter via Twitter for Android

@Hunter_Collins Right? What a monster. At least pedophiles only fuck one kid at a time.

About 3 weeks ago from Andrew Barr's Twitter via Twitter for Android